My high school English teacher was an asshole.

Have a seat. Don't get too comfortable. Like I said in the title, this is going to be a short post. Really short. Because I have nothing to say. Nothing interesting, anyway. Sometimes when I have nothing to say I do a quick scan of the news for some mildly entertaining story. Then I link to it and say: "Isn't this ridiculous?" That's really lazy posting though, don't you think?

Tonight I'm too lazy even to find such a story. Politics is too predictable. Sports? Nobody who blogs gives a shit about sports, except people with sports blogs, but, Jesus, who wants to read about what some guy thinks about the Yankees losing? They did lose, by the way, but that's old news. Fuckin' Yankees. This is what we're paying Jeter for?

I know what you're thinking: "He's trying to turn having nothing to say into something interesting, so at the end he can write: 'Gee, I guess this turned out longer than I thought it would.'" And you'll say: "Clever." I won't do that. I was thinking about doing that, but I realized it would be too predictable, and not very clever. Are you still reading? Were you ever? Who are you? Get the hell off my lawn!

This post has taken a turn for the worse. I think I'm going to change the title from "Welcome to my short post" to "Welcome to my terrible post." Or would that be confusing? After all, I start out saying how short it's going to be. It wouldn't really make sense. But then again, it's really not accurate to have the short-post title considering how long this has become. Screw it, I'm gonna do it.

There. Now it really is an awful post.

This is stupid. I should just stick to my original title. I always do that; I start something, then lose confidence in what I'm doing and make all these changes. Then before I know it, I just give up and never finish. It's like my high school English teacher told me: "You never finish what you start."

There, I changed it back to "Welcome to my short post." It's succinct, it's pithy, it's what I started with. Done and done.

I just changed it back again. Who cares? My English teacher was a douche bag. He used to talk to my social studies teacher about professional wrestling. I'm gonna listen to a guy who watches that shit? Take his sage advice? Not bloody likely. He was such a dick, all superior in the classroom. But you know what they say, those who can't do, right? Jackass.

Fuck it, I'm changing the title again.