Monday, December 12, 2005

There was that one time

We shot squirrels with BB guns
We stayed up all night trying to build a video game on the TI994a
We egged houses, then ran away from cars we imagined were chasing us
We found mud-caked porno mags in a trash heap near the old big woods
We happened upon a hog nosed snake with a toad in its mouth
We got called into the guidance counselor's office for picking on a kid
We got called into the principal's office for picking on a lunch lady
We got put in a police car for messing up a construction site
We got put in a police car for lighting off homemade fireworks
We threw molotov cocktails into the woods, but they didn't work
We got drunk on a purple mix of liquor and ran around outside
We stood on bull hill with cups of keg beer and laughed about our teachers
We got chased off the golf course by rent-a-cops
We staged a pudding eating contest with one contestant
We did nitrous oxide balloons on a winter night
We dropped acid and yelled at a next door neighbor
We dropped acid and thought Al died in the back seat of a locked car
We sang karaoke at a sports bar
We took two girls to a motel using a fake ID, then got kicked out for jumping on the bed
We dipped coins in Basic H and thought it made them uncirculated
We stuck our fingers with a needle to look at the blood under a microscope
We sat around and came up with headlines for a tabloid newspaper
We watched endless episodes of The Simpsons, Seinfeld and Get a Life
We took the English club to a Stephen King lecture
We wrote poems and taped them up on the wall
We skipped class and watched Nightmare on Elm Street
We ran to the reservoir and did wind sprints at the top
We sucked weight by running up and down the steps in the pool room
We beat up a kid, then ran away from his older brother
We got up on the school roof and took a bunch of playground balls
We played four square at camp
We tricked a kid into eating jack-in-the-pulpit, then got chewed out by a camp counselor
We ate lunch at China House and goofed on the menu spelling
We burned all of our schoolbooks in a bonfire
We had a party with a bunch of sorority girls who mostly ignored us
We got chased by a cabbie
We got stoned and watched Fritz the Cat
We wrote fiction all day
We made a video tape of skits called "Missing Rob"
We went to the Poconos and filmed "Grandpa is a Mean Old Bastard"
We got in a sudden, drunken scuffle with each other a apologized the next day
We talked about beat writers
We went to a Dolly Parton restaurant and watched a staged battle between the North and South
We went to a seafood restaurant, and I afterward I threw up behind a fleet of trucks as you fell down laughing
We played evil Jenga with girls from work
We stayed up all night playing caps

You remember that, right?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

dude,
did we live the same life?

MO'SH said...

Shit, I remember all of it, and I wasn't even there for 95% of it!

The Dolly Parton Theatre -- what a world we live in!