If I never eat another bowl of cabbage soup again in my life, I will have considered my time on earth a success.
From now on, it's corned beef and anything else.
I don't even want to hear, read or speak the word cabbage. The very hint of a dream of a whisper of the word causes my esophagus to make like an epileptic python.
I might not even take cabs from now on. Too close.
But, I have managed to lose some weight. I stepped on Becky's scale last night and registered 198. That's thirteen pounds less than what my doctor clocked me in at a month ago.
And now it's time to gain it all back in the most delicious way possible: The giving for which we give thanks -- Thanksgiving. "Please pass the turkey." How I long to say those words. "Another piece of apple pie?" Yes, yes. Oh God, yes. Sweet potatoes. Stuffing. Gravy. Glazed carrots. Buttered rolls. Mashed potatoes. Beef jerky, fried chicken hearts, this keyboard -- anything but cabbage!
I want to eat everything listed in the song "Food, glorious food." Even saveloys, and I don't know what those are. Who cares? Bring 'em on. Unless they contain cabbage, of course.
I should have a giant bowl of macaroni and cheese under my chin right now as the clock draws toward midnight. And I should be holding a huge wooden spoon.
But I'll probably watch what I eat, at least for a little while. I told my self I'd lose forty pounds. So there are promises to keep.
And pounds to drop before I eat.
And pounds to drop before I eat.
So all that's left now is the obligatory "after" picture. So here it is: Me having a smart vegetarian dinner at Zen Palate.
6 comments:
That picture is so worth it.
Congratulations, Robert Frost-Free!
you know, a good way to lose 40 lbs. is to cut off your legs. then you could eat whatever the hell you want.lucky cripples.
True, but I'm such an emotional eater I'd probably eat my darned severed legs!
So, how many Chinese buffets have you been to since yesterday? Gorging yourself on meatball, french fry and shrimps? (A little China House humor there.)
Ah, China House. My first foray into exotic food -- and despite living in New York is probably still the most exotic food I've ever eaten. Who knows what the hell was in that food?
How about some of that fine canned vanilla pudding, all soupy and warm after being swished around in your mouth for the entire filming of the aptly named short: Pudding eating contest?
And let's not forget Sperm Drop Soup: The soup that fertilizes itself.
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