I felt a cold coming on since Monday, but was able to keep it at bay until Friday. Then it hit in all its gluey, runny glory.
Off to the store. DayQuil, NyQuil. Bright orange, blood red. Wakey, sleepy.
Took the NyQuil last night and had all sorts of whacky dreams. I think I doubled up on the dose -- two little plastic cups. I was at my computer when it hit, and it was all I could do to swipe the clothes off my bed and aim my head at my pillow like a battering ram. Out.
Woke up at six and I didn't know who I was. I think I became a middle-aged woman during the night, fighting off a horde of rats in my bright suburban kitchen. They came at me in waves, like a video game, and I bonked each of them on the head with my broom -- 10pts!, 20pts!, 30pts! Level II. More and more, skittering across the gleaming linoleum until there was simply a dull brown blur. One bit down on the hem of my housecoat and I flailed at with my broom, my mouth a cartoon shriek.
I awoke with my arms crisscrossed over my chest.
I'm not a suburban housewife. I am a single male living in Brooklyn. I grabbed my penis. See?
I got up. DayQuil, double dose. Now my head started to clear.
I am definitely a man, and I even have a name: Brian. OK. Back to the world.
I blew my nose. Took a leak. Water. I drank some water. Back to my computer.
Now here I am typing this out. My head is still thick and I have that fluey feeling that is perfectly represented in cartoons by dark bubbles lazily orbiting the head. The DayQuil hasn't kicked in. How long has it been? I dose up again, this time forgoing the little cup and chugging straight from the bottle.
A good cold gives you the universal facial expression of mild resignation, the "whaddya gonna do?" look. My eyelids are floating at about three-quarters mast, held up by the pull of my forehead.
Whaddya gonna do? I'm sick.
Fortunately, it's rainy and shitty out. No reason to leave the apartment except to forage for food. There's plenty of NyQuil left in the bottle. I'll dose up later. I wonder who I'll be tonight?
2 comments:
Hey Brian,
Welcome to my world of Nyquil and Dayquil and here is something special that i made up last year when i was sick: eveningQuil. (mix one cup nyquil and on cup dayquil and drink it around 4.30pm when its not yet time for nyquil and have had dayquil a few hours back, but is wearing off.) Trust me! It works wonders!! My latest discovery is, when you are having this "EveningQuil" shot, just eat one of that new fancy Theraflu "Thin Strips" cherry flavor. SWEET DREAMS!
There was a brief period there, in my downtown Portland bachelor pad era, when I'd get so bored on my days off that I'd wake up, slug down some NyQuil and go right back to bed for some crazy dreamin' time. I also hazily recall lots of pot, beer and masturbation. My life was like a PG-13 version of "Bad Lieutenant."
Of course, I'm married now, so... well, it's still the same, except the wife does it with me. She's a great gal!
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