It's been a long 30-some-odd years.

The arc of the birthday. You can't wait to reach the next year, until you hit your 30s. Then it's all damage control and spin.

I turned 37 on Tuesday. Thirty-seven. How did that happen? Wasn't I just 27? I barely acknowledged I was 30 until I was 34. When I turned 35 I thought: "Well, I'm in my 30s now." Indeed.

Thirty-six suddenly seems so spry. It's mid thirties. Right there in the sweet spot. Thirty seven? Well, shit, forty is just a couple of winters away. Three Christmases. Two MLK days. One more Feburary 29. But I'm not obsessed.

Went to North 6 in Williamsburg on my B-day to see OK GO. Their album's a bit poppy, but good show. Another late night on Wednesday. Our company had its holiday party (try to guess which holiday). Lot's of free drinks and karaoke afterward. And last night our comedy writing class went out for a few drinks after class. I need to sleep tonight.

New Play Cole Video

There's an actual company in N.J. called Tension Envelopes. Here's a sketch that explores what it might be like to work there. This one was written by Jon and performed by the usual group.

I like this one. Lot's of manic energy and screaming. Very cathartic after a long week.

Have a look!

Check out these guns

Which way is 34th Street, you ask? That way.

Ohhh! Did you see my bicep pop out when I pointed awkwardly in that direction?

Sweet.

Hey, I can't control these things. It's like they have a mind of thier own. Two perfectly sculpted, rippling minds.

You say you wanna see my belt buckle? Here it is.

Zam!

You see those abs rise up like six yeasty dinner rolls? Wow. Even I was impressed with that display.

Hey, there's an ant near you. I'll just step on it.

Jesus. Did you see that bulging calf muscle inflate like a veiny football when I applied the requisite pressure to crush that tiny exoskeleton? Something to behold.

So anyway, how have you...wait a minute, did that guy just give you a dirty look? Here, let me give him the finger for you.

Bammo! Would you please just stop what you're doing and consider the sheer bulk of the meaty section of my middle finger? Who knew fingers could even get muscular? That's two hundred finger curls a day you can thank for enjoying that view.

Tired of this yet? I'm just trying to say that I've been excerising more over the past couple weeks. It's one of those things I've been meaning to do for a while but have let go for too long. So now I'm back at it. And who knows? Maybe the next time you see me...

Kapow!!

Art of the monologue

A while back I celebrated the death of the joke. Well, now I'm taking a class to learn how to write them. As David Brent would say while pointing to himself: "hypocrite warning!"

Yeah, I know.

The class is called "Writing Comedy for TV," and by the end of it I'm promised to have monologue jokes, skits and a sitcom pitch. That is, if I work hard. Which I have been. The first class was last Thursday and our assignment was to write twenty monologue jokes for the next class.

Now, I'm known as a quick-witted fellow (at least among my slower-witted friends), but it's not so easy to come up with twenty topical jokes. You end up with a lot of groaners and bizzaro punchlines that make no sense. Luckily, the instructor asked us to write some bad jokes so we could troubleshoot them in class. Twenty bad jokes? No problem!

The class seems like it's gonna be a lot of fun. It's full of smart, funny people, including this guy.

I'll probably be writing more about this in the weeks to come.

Hanalog

My first post since the holidays. What's up with that? Well, now I'm back on track and ready to tell you about a new blog my friends Todd and Kiyoko just made. Who are these people? Great people, that's who. They used to work with me here at Wunderman and have recently moved to Japan, where Kiyoko is from.

Todd and I used to work together on a few accounts, and he's an amazing designer. He's now working at a shop in Japan, learning the local protocol, language and job -- all at the same time. So if you want a glimpse of what it's like to assimilate to a new culture, check out Hanalog. I don't know what it is about Wordpress and designers/art directors. They know how to make blogs look cool, I guess.

Anyway, check it out. And congrats to Todd and Kiyoko, who just got engaged! Nice goin' you crazy kids.