You probably don't have to tell Michael Emerson that he's creepy looking. He's making a nice little career in Hollywood out of his "unconventinal look," playing everything from the icky guy on "Saw" to the yucky guy on "Lost." Emerson, who looks a little like Rob Schneider if he got his head caught in an elevator door, is cornering the market on unsavory.
Still, how would like it if you looked yourself up on IMDb (and you know all actors do this), only to find the following headline in the very first post of comments section:
ugliest man ever
You'd click on it, wouldn't you? You'd have to. And this is what you'd find:
"Im sorry to say this but i think this man is soooo hideous. he gave me nightmares after seeing him in SAW. im not kidding either. he looks like he could be some kind of gross pedophile. he also sort of reminds me of steve buscemi!"
I don't care how evolved you are, that would have to hurt.
The comment is a treasure trove of illiterate insults, beginning with a false apology and ending with a added insult against Steve Buscemi. It's a homemade nail-bomb, wounding everything within a 15-foot radius. Terribly written, yet it acheives a sort of brutal perfection. I have to break this down.
"Im sorry to say this"
A bitchy pre-apology that is so overused it's lost its original meaning and now simply announces the coming of an insult.
"but i think this man is sooo hideous."
He doesn't look hideous. He doesn't act hideous. He simply IS hideous.
"he gave me nightmares after seeing him in SAW."
Not because of his brilliant performance, mind you. He's just hideous.
"im not kidding either."
You thought I was being satirical? Ha!
"he looks like he could be some kind of gross pedophile."
The worst kind.
"he also sort of reminds me of steve buscemi!"
Best ending to a comment EVER.
6 comments:
i'm sorry to say this but i think charlize theron looks like a man. she gave me nightmares after seeing her at some red carpet affair. looked like a bleached rupaul. i'm not kidding either. she looks like buffalo bill in "silence of the lambs".
she also kind of reminds me of steve buscemi.
I thought it was interesting that the poster phrased it "I think this man is soooo hideous," rather than just declaring it as fact, as most people would do.
For the record, I feel the same way about Paris Hilton. She looks like that woman from the movie Freaks, after she gets gaffed into a chicken-lady at the end. (Now that's a fact.)
I just looked up this Emerson guy on Google images, as I have never seen Lost or Saw and probably never will. He just looks like Richard E. Grant to me. More goofy than ghastly.
Everyone has to be "known" for something. We all knew Britney would end up a freak show, maybe she should update her listing with her current stylings.
Anyway, he is not that gross, he is just drawn that way.
Those comments read like my high school yearbook.
I hate to say this, but the construction of the Ramada Jaco condos in Costa Rica is s-o-o-o-o shoddy. I have nightmares about waking up one day and finding that I've invested in one. I'm not kidding either. They are surrounded by mosquito-infested swamp, to boot. I imagine the condos will be bought by low-lifes who can't afford anything else, an entire neighborhood of Steve Buscemi characters.
Post a Comment