Friends,
Things are about to change around the Kunath shanty. Today I received a special package from Verizon. It was a box and the box contained a shiny new cellular telephone. I am now able to make and receive calls from almost anywhere!
Except from my apartment. That's a dead space.
Soon, you'll be able to contact me on my cellular telephone simply by dialing my home number. I am porting that over to my cellular telephone for convenience. Until then, I have a different number, which I shall not disclose here for fear I will soon receive a call from a Nigerian asking me to send money to his beleaguered kingdom. The porting will take 5-7 business days. Until then, don't call me; I'll call you.
Look at me!
5 comments:
Wow, I had thought I was the last hold-out. And now I am!
Oh, and those Nigerians aren't asking for money--they're giving it away! Hundreds of thousands of dollars! I'm stringing along a dozen of the poor dopes right now!
Q'ner you magnificent bastard you!
It will change your life, my man. Actually, it's scary how much you'll come to depend on it. Wait until you start texting...
brian,
some other new and useful inventions you may want to consider:
the cotton gin
vulcanized rubber
pasturized milk
the horse-less carriage
offset lithography
smallpox vaccine
deep fried oreos
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